Gay India

I think I'm about to burst. I've been watching this bizarre separation of men and women with a careful eye since I got to India, but now I think I've seen enough.

Perhaps it is a replacement for actual intimacy, or perhaps it is actual homosexuality, but the men here are doing all sorts of acts that in the west would point to nothing other than being homosexual.

Exhibit A:


What you're seeing here is a single seat on the train heading toward Pondicherry. It should be noted that this train was a Wednesday morning train express to Pondicherry so there were plenty of seats available. The guy sitting in front pushed open his buddy's legs and sat down between them. Now, again, I'm American and I couldn't really care less if he's gay or not. But in India being gay is simply not acceptable. I don't know what this is if it's not gay.

Other examples include:
B) A guy lying across the laps of three of his friends on the train. Two of them were sort of hugging his legs and chest.

C) Men hold hands here a lot, but not in the way of shaking hands. They hold pinky fingers. In Delhi I saw men holding hands in exactly the same way I see couples holding hands in America.

D) The real kicker here. I got a picture of this, but then lost my damn camera! At a bazaar I saw two men seated on a single chair, a lawn chair. One was on the chair, the other was sitting on his lap facing the first. The guy on top had his arms holding the back of the chair.

I have been assured many times that these men are not gay, but give me a break! I don't believe it for a second. All the single men here are restricted from women. Furthermore, being gay is simply not acceptable. Put these two together though and you'll arrive at some problems. The fact of the matter is that homosexuality has been around a long time. Also, in any large group of people (say 7.5 million for a city like Chennai) is bound to have a significant group of gay men. What irritates me is that they try to pass this off as something else. Perhaps in some cases it is simply a substitute for physical affection which is somewhat disallowed with members of the opposite sex. But I think that's only part of it. I think there really are a lot of gay men here. I am yet undecided as to whether they have an easier plight or a more difficult one than the "standard" straight men in India. In some sense, physical contact, even to me what seems far to intimate to be "friendly," is completely acceptable, but being gay is not.

If the two guys on the chair aren't gay, and all the male only dance clubs don't have a fair share of gay men, then I'll really believe being gay is a "choice." As it is, I don't believe that. What makes matters even worse, is that most of these men will be married off as it were. It reminds me of the Mormon culture where there are so incredibly many gay men, but they are disallowed from being so.

Side thoughts on mormons and sexuality:
I have gay friends who have dated mormon men, in fact several of them. I even know one guy who converted to Mormonism because of his boyfriend. It was a sad sight, because his boyfriend had to marry a woman and keep a boyfriend on the side. I am assured by many gay men this is a commonplace occurance in the mormon church. It seems terribly wrong to allow this and turn a blind eye to it.

Back to the news:
I don't know South Indian culture too well, but my earnest guess is that this same sort of phenomenon is occurring all the time in south india as in utah. Both have strong religious beliefs rallying against it, but yet it is inevitable that it will happen, and in India certainly it will be allowed to continue...