The Fly-est Swatter of them all

I didn't bring back much with me from Lebanon. I few food goodies. One bottle of nice wine, and the best damn fly swatter in the history of fly swatters!

Check it out here Electric Fly Swatter!

In Lebanon this time of year bugs don't present much of a problem. Here in India, however, bugs are always a problem. So I've been carrying my handy dandy fly swatter around from home to work and back. I don't care that I look silly. I already look silly. I'm too tall and lanky, funny facial hair, funny accent, and now carrying around this ridiculous contraption.

Last night when I got back to the apartment I went through the usual ritual of turning on the "All-Out" (sort of like unscented candle insect repellent, or more likely insecticide). It usually takes 30 minutes to rid the room of bugs and I sleep with my feet right next to it. In the middle of the night I noticed I was getting bug bites again. One pesky mosquito had survived the all-out assault and was now asking for sure death. Sadly I'd already been bitten half a dozen times and was thoroughly pissed off at this bug's persistence. I had to turn on the light to see, but sure enough in a matter of minutes, the mosquito appeared near my pant leg. On goes the fly swatter. Wait for it. WAIT for it. WAIT FOR IT! ZAP! I just have to touch the guy and he gets a good zapping. I don't actually have to swat him, BRILLIANT! Oh no, what's this, he didn't die!? Zap, zap, zap! Now he's dead and in the trash. No more bug bites last night after that.

I think this thing is my favorite Christmas present. However, I am beginning to have mixed feelings about killing so many of God's little creatures. Ah, what the hell, those little bastards carry thousands of diseases. I'm in the jungle, so the law of the jungle rules here. I have an electric fly swatter, the mosquito doesn't. I win. Now I only wonder if I can use it on those pesky rickshaw drivers...