Keep your eyes on the road
In case you can't read the billboard, the upper left hand says "Keep your eyes on the road." What's more is that this same billboard is in several locations and the best one (in my opinion) is coming around a sharp curve down a mountain with no guard rail. I tried to get a good picture of that one, but it was no use. This is taken from a stopped car in a traffic jam near the sea.


Apricot
Arabic has no "p" so they just approximate everything as either "b" or "f" (Bakistan, Falestine). Here, we have yet another shining example of why one should check with a native english speaker before buying expensive signs.

Mr. Juicy Drink Red Grape
See below:

Mister Juicy Shrab Anab Ahmar
The back of this juice drink says "mister juicy" transliterated directly into Arabic. I thought this was funny. One of my older cousins was with me when I took these two pictures. She didn't understand my humor then...

Valet parking in BEIPUT
Need to fix that sign buddy!

Look more closely
The shop "Hani" on the left is a lingerie shop. You can "barely" see some of the items in the window. The shop to the right is the Muslim owned modest home furnishings store. I just really liked this juxtaposition.

A Good Idea
I like these scooters with the wind and rainshield above them.


Another Trashcan picture
The only reason I took this was because the picture at the bottom looks to me like a woman gracefully pitching her garbage in the bin as her nonchalant stride remains unphased by the idea that she is doing something filthy. Even on the trashcan women are expected to look good...

No Idea
Why is the Morano the Qashqai? I have no idea.

A random monument
No one seems to know the reason for this monument. So I took a picture with it. My guess is that it's some random political party's erection in their little town.

Funny photos from Lebanon

Here are yet a few more good examples of why one should always check with an up to date native speaker of a language before making signs in that language...

Remember the cosmetic surgeries?
Moustache women? Seriously people? Moustache is a high end clothing line for men (or it used to be for men, now apparently they've extended their market, but seriously...


University Creepy?
Perhaps they meant creperie? Perhaps they really did mean Crepy. In either case this is directly across the street from the main gate to AUB.


Is this really a carwash?
Shams is the Arabic word for "sun." Somehow I'm surprised that they didn't name is Al Shams carwash. That really would've done it for me.


The name says it all
The buy one get one free deal makes me a bit suspicious. What went wrong here?

A very happy Santa
I'd be really happy too if I were a manikin santa stuck in a dislay full of hot naked manikin ladies!

Trying to readjust

Indian Standard Time is 10:30 ahead of the east coast in America. It's 5:30 ahead of Greenwich Mean Time and 3:30 ahead of Lebanon's time zone (the proper name I keep forgetting, but it contains Helsinki and Cairo as well). Therefore traveling from Lebanon to India is something like traveling from Seattle to Miami. The time difference is almost the same and the distance is similar. So taking a red-eye flight back in isn't too shocking. But since I got back to India I've been on Lebanon time. Sadly, when I eat dinner in Lebanon at 7PM that makes it 10:30PM here and that means everything is closed. CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED. Nothing is open. So I've been doing very poorly in adjusting to schedule and eating right. Fortunately last night I actually made the last train home and was ready to get to sleep at a semi-normal hour and wake up in time for breakfast. Things seemed to be going swimmingly, until i remember I am in Chennai. UGH!
I turned on my all-out and took a shower and was ready to go. I read until I was falling asleep and turned out the light. buzz. what was that? buzz. Oh man my feet are itching, I should switch my feet toward the all-out. buzz. Did something just bite my ankles? I turned on my handy dandy bug zapper. Zap! Got 'em. Ok now I can sleep. Buzz. That was definitely closer to my head. buzz. Ah shit, something just bit me on the face! I get up turn the lights back on and see two more mosquitoes flying around. I zap the hell out of both of them then turn the lights back out. buzz. What the hell is going on? I got bit on the shoulders, the ribs, the ankles, the LIP. I got bit on my freaking LIP. That was annoying. I turn the lights BACK on and zap three more mosquitoes. and throw a bed sheet over myself to avoid more bites. It is way to hot to be under any sheets. What the hell!? That bastard bit me THROUGH the sheet. At this point my zapper is running out of charge. I decide it's time for some old school mosquito killing. I let one guy land on my leg, and I smack my leg spattering a drop of blood (MY BLOOD) everywhere. There's another one. I let him land on my wrist, slap, he spatters some blood and now I check the time. It's 6:15 AM!!! How have I been dealing with mosquitoes for the past 5 hours!? Ugh. So much for getting up at 8:30 and eating a good breakfast.

I'm heading to Delhi tomorrow to visit a friend and I suppose I'll try to adjust to the time while I'm there and perhaps come back to Chennai with a little less edge. I think I can no longer go without a mosquito net. I don't care if there's no place to hang it, I don't care if it's the wrong size for my bed, I need a mosquito net. The bites on my face were the last straw!

The Morning Life in Chennai

Sitting around at afternoon tea yesterday with a colleague (one who strangely has ties to both Chicago and Kingsport) he told me that since he's been in Chennai he's basically stopped drinking at bars. He drinks mostly duty free spirits and bootlegged booze (wines and such from places that know how to make them). I asked him about Chennai's nightlife. He said there really isn't any such thing. The only murmurings I've even heard about a night life are from expat communities and I don't know how to break into that market. I'm not exactly here to be in that market, but if someone's throwing a party where English is spoken and good beer is served, I'd certainly like to be invited.

He told me, "In Chennai people have a morning life." This sounds very confusing to me, but then I reconsidered the facts of what he was saying. People really do wake up at amazing hours to start doing things. The other "night" when I returned at nearly 5AM someone just a block away was blaring music and I think there was dancing happening. Just before I left for my brief vacation I was looking at concert schedules. The earliest concert began at 6:30 AM! This also seemed to be a daily occurence. Well, I'll tell you. I'm not into going to 6:30 AM concerts, no way, no how. This very morning I awoke to bug bites and a cat howling madly at just after 4AM. Before I got back to sleep another party was just starting up. Although I hesitate to truly call it a party. What I believe is really happening are rituals and religious ceremonies of the Hindus. Many special ceremonies start before sunrise. Since in Chennai we're close enough to the equator days are between 11 and 13 hours all year round. The sun comes up at about 5:30-6:00 AM everyday. Everyday! In order to get your ceremonies going before that you'd better get going at 4:30. All in all I'm not sure about this "morning life" thing. It's probably not for me. I much prefer being on a schedule in which I go to sleep late, wake up late, eat late, and leave work late. I have not yet fully abandoned my hope of some night life, but in the last two months the latest I've stayed out was on Christmas night and that was because I went to midnight mass...

The Fly-est Swatter of them all

I didn't bring back much with me from Lebanon. I few food goodies. One bottle of nice wine, and the best damn fly swatter in the history of fly swatters!

Check it out here Electric Fly Swatter!

In Lebanon this time of year bugs don't present much of a problem. Here in India, however, bugs are always a problem. So I've been carrying my handy dandy fly swatter around from home to work and back. I don't care that I look silly. I already look silly. I'm too tall and lanky, funny facial hair, funny accent, and now carrying around this ridiculous contraption.

Last night when I got back to the apartment I went through the usual ritual of turning on the "All-Out" (sort of like unscented candle insect repellent, or more likely insecticide). It usually takes 30 minutes to rid the room of bugs and I sleep with my feet right next to it. In the middle of the night I noticed I was getting bug bites again. One pesky mosquito had survived the all-out assault and was now asking for sure death. Sadly I'd already been bitten half a dozen times and was thoroughly pissed off at this bug's persistence. I had to turn on the light to see, but sure enough in a matter of minutes, the mosquito appeared near my pant leg. On goes the fly swatter. Wait for it. WAIT for it. WAIT FOR IT! ZAP! I just have to touch the guy and he gets a good zapping. I don't actually have to swat him, BRILLIANT! Oh no, what's this, he didn't die!? Zap, zap, zap! Now he's dead and in the trash. No more bug bites last night after that.

I think this thing is my favorite Christmas present. However, I am beginning to have mixed feelings about killing so many of God's little creatures. Ah, what the hell, those little bastards carry thousands of diseases. I'm in the jungle, so the law of the jungle rules here. I have an electric fly swatter, the mosquito doesn't. I win. Now I only wonder if I can use it on those pesky rickshaw drivers...

What happens when it rains

My last day before a brief vacation from Chennai was rainy. Not too surprising considering it was near the end of the rainy season. I hadn't been out in the rain too much to witness what happens, but I was walking to the train, umbrella in hand and was forced to notice a few things. The slum dwellers have it really bad when it rains. They have it really bad when it's not raining, but the rainy season must just be terrible. Many people don't even have roofs over their heads and so take shelter in abandoned broken down houses, near construction sites and more frequently at train stations where they take to begging. Of course, no one gives them any money. This is all part of an elaborate complicated scheme involving a religion with a deeply seeded belief in reincarnation and punishment for sins in past lives.

In the standard hutments for slum dwellers, the roofs are tin sheets covered with dried palm leaves. The rain wetting the palm leaves drips through the and the tin sheets (often with holes, and not level) drop water down onto the dirt to make it mud. This mud is either inside the huts wherein it produces mildew and mold, or it's directly at the front step. Moreover, for me walking around while it was raining was tough since the dried feces on the sides of canals and rivers begins to smell again.

It seems that everyone (and everything) seeks shelter when it rains. Take these guys for example taking shelter in my local train station...

India


When I got to Lebanon it was rainy. Luckily it wasn't snowing. The mountainous roads don't have guard rails and cars are not always well maintained. One might expect to slide off the road and down into a ravine. Generally this is not a pleasant undertaking. Well, the rain also causes things to get slippery. The mud on the mountains causes problems for construction equipment too. Take this picture for example (sucks about your car, and your wall)...


Lebanon

A sampling of food pics from Lebanon

Lest you were unaware dear reader that Lebanon is a fanatical food culture, allow me to put your mind at ease.

This is from a little joint called Pizza Burgers in Beirut. I saw this monster and decided I must eat one. They scoop out the top of the bun so as to load it up with condiments (lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, mayo, pickles, french fries). Then place the small almost insignificant burger patty on the bottom, and toast the whole thing... OOF.

A "burger" with EVERYTHING


Here is a picture of my Aunt Linda. She has a large garden where she grows everything she cooks with except for meat. Here is a picture of her making falafel. I've eaten plenty of it in my life, but this was the most outstanding ever! All the herbs are organic from her garden and she hand mixes them. Fries them in olive oil and serves them hot with fresh tomato, tahini, and fresh parsley. Oh my many many many Gods. If India could produce such a culinary wonder I'd be shocked.
Best falafel I've ever eaten!

One thing I love about India is the little food stands selling all manner of breaded breakfasts. Well, it should be no shock that Lebanon has this same sort of arrangement. This is a shop hardly bigger than the double door entrance to it. These bad boys are on dough just made that morning spread with Zatar and a tomato and ground lamb mixture then popped into a woodfired oven for a few minutes until everything is toasty. I can seriously eat zatar for breakfast every morning. In fact I have been for the last two weeks and I'm not even remotely tired of it.
Breakfast of Zatar and Lahme

Here is the elusive 961 beer. I saw it my second night in a supermarket in Hazmieh (I think) and it was the eurostyle pale lager. I had no interest, but was excited to buy some other variety later. Sadly, I did not get to drink any of this, but I did get to drink the Turkish stuff on the right. Efes extra strong (9%) is actually a strong beer, unlike the garbage beer that is kingfisher "superstrong" weighing in at a pathetic 6%.
961 beer


Here is a small food shop in a miniature town called Jdita. It's very close to Zahle in the Bekaa valley. In the case are kafta (freaking amazing) and raw kibbee. I didn't try their raw kibbee as I was busy stuffing my face with shawarma.
Kafta and Raw Kibbee


I hope you like licorice flavor. Arak is pretty popular around Lebanon, and it's pretty strongly anise flavored. It took me a couple tries a few years back, but you learn to love it. There must be near 100 Arak makers in Lebanon with the best being small restaurants who distill their Arak into art. I hear the most expensive Arak sells for near $1000/bottle and in smoothness supposedly rivals good cognacs. (If you have cognac questions, please don't hesitate to ask me...)
A wall of Arak


At my other aunt's house. She's making another couple gallons of vinegar from grapes grown at her house. WOO! It's good stuff.
Homemade vinegar


What do cheese, onions, fried cauliflower, hummus, baba ghanouj, Labne, figs, tea, pita bread, zatar, and olives have in common? They all went into my stomach in one morning. Of course I didn't eat everything shown here, but I sampled everything. If breakfast really is the most important meal of the day then I certainly did fine that day.
A "light" breakfast


It's the middle of winter and here is a fresh fruit stand. On the coast and down in the Bekaa valley, growing fruit is a year-round business. Up in the mountains it snows in the winter and you have to drive nearly TEN WHOLE MILES to get amazing fruit.
fruit stand just outside Beirut


This is a grapevine which hasn't been properly cared for this fall, nor has it been trimmed correctly. However, I like the idea that you really can grow grapes all year round. All you detractors saying that Jesus didn't actually make wine because grape wine wasn't known at that time (there is a significant portion of the population who believes this...) need to check your history. Whether or not Jesus actually turned water into wine is debatable. Whether it was grape wine or honey wine is not. Grapes are everywhere in Lebanon. Almost everyhouse (even the abandoned ones) have their own grape vines. Perhaps I should open a winery there...
Grapevine in winter


This picture serves a dual purpose. In the center of the room is a stove of sorts. it's a heater and keeps the main central room nice and toasty. On top are some iron stove eyes. People generally keep a pot of hot water on top and serve tea and arabic coffee throughout the day. Here is a picture of the stove being used to grill potatoes (from my aunt's garden of course).
Potatoes on Heater

Here is a picture of "Kharma" as they are so named in Arabic. They sort of look like tomatoes growing on an apple tree. Peculiar I thought. Anyway, they are totally delicious and I found out they are persimmons. I had no idea these were persimmons or that I actually like them. I couldn't eat enough of them.
Persimmons and dessert

Another fruit stand, need I say more?
fruit stand in Aley